Can you guys believe Kennedy is 14 weeks old!? I for one, can’t believe it. I wanted to just touch base with you guys, write out my thoughts on motherhood and so on and so forth. What a crazy couple of months it has been, I can barely wrap my head around it myself. But I really want to document my feelings because I know I’ll want to look back on this phase and remember it one day!
What a blessing it has been to watch Kennedy grow over the past three months. I can literally see the wheels turning in that little brain of hers as she learns new skills and seems to grow bigger every day! She smiles and coos to herself all day long… and she reserves the biggest smiles just for me (again, my heart could burst!). She’s a very vocal and happy baby. She likes to have conversations where we “talk” back and forth, and she enjoys being held while we dance to music. Last week, she learned how to grab fistfuls of mama’s hair, and this week she’s started to reach for toys in front of her. She loves for someone to help her stand, but still dislikes tummy time (although we make her practice every day). Her head control is getting better, and I can’t wait for the day when she can sit up on her own! We are starting to see her little personality shine through – or should I say big personality? I have a feeling this little girl is going to be a force of nature! She certainly doesn’t like to miss out on much (which makes getting to her to fall asleep a huge struggle, haha!).
While I love Kennedy with all of my heart and more, motherhood has not been the easiest transition for me. Everyone tells you motherhood is hard, but it’s completely different experiencing it yourself. The easy part is loving your baby… it’s everything else that is so hard: dealing with your postpartum body, managing relationships, navigating your new role as a mom, etc. It’s so strange, because in many ways I still feel like “me,” but in many ways I do not. Sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore. But to be completely honest, the hardest part for me is not any of that – it’s the sleep deprivation. If Kennedy sleeps well at night, then I can handle the next day. But when she doesn’t… let’s just say, there is a reason that people use sleep deprivation as a form of torture! There are days when I’m so tired, I feel like I could die. I can’t even drag myself out of bed to pour myself a cup of coffee… I barely feel human. My friends have reassured me that this phase is short-lived and we will sleep again, but it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. The other thing that I’ve really struggled with is anxiety over Kennedy’s health. She is perfectly healthy, yet I find myself Googling things like “why is my baby drooling so much?,” or “my baby won’t stop crying” and then finding a zillion reasons to worry about her. You guys know that I have struggled with anxiety in the past, and motherhood has “unlocked” that side of me that I had finally gotten under control. I don’t mean to be so negative, but I do want to keep it real with you guys. Motherhood is hard, and all of you mamas out there are rockstars.
While it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, it’s also the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My daughter is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. For the first time in my life, I truly, truly understand the meaning of unconditional love. It is a love so deep, so great, my heart feels like it can’t hold it all. Like it will burst into a million little pieces. There have been quite a few times that I heard God whisper in my ear, “Caitlin, now you understand how I feel about you!” (It’s true… it’s how He feels about all of us!) And without a doubt, motherhood has strengthened my relationship with God. I want so badly for Kennedy to grow up knowing Him, too.
To sum up motherhood: it’s constantly feeling hundreds of intense, conflicting emotions all at the same time. Most of the time I absolutely love being a mom, but there are other times when I feel sad and grieve my carefree life pre-baby. I love my job, but I resent that it takes me away from Kennedy. I love watching Chris as a father, but I also miss the relationship we had before baby. I love the newborn stage, and yet can’t wait for it to be over and the next stage to be here. I feel all of these emotions, all the time, and they change moment to moment. And you know what? It’s okay. I’m figuring it out.
I’ll leave you with this poem from the Jessica Urlichs. It makes me cry every time I read it!
“Mama,
I can’t see past you right now, I’m so small and everything’s a little blurry.
All I see is you.
When you feel alone, like the walls are closing in, remember I’m here too. I know your world has changed and the days feel a little lonely. But they aren’t lonely for me.
You are my everything.
When you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re making it look easy to me. Even though we’re still getting to know each other, you know me better than anyone.
I trust you.
When you think some nights you’ll never sleep again, you will. We both will. But I’m scared right now. I promise I’m not manipulating you. I just need your smell and comfort. Do you feel that tug in your heart when we’re apart? I do too.
I miss you.
When you feel as if you’ve achieved nothing, please know, my cup has never been so full. The days that get away on you will be some of my best memories of us playing together on the ground.
I love you.
When you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore, when you turn away from the mirror. That face will be the one I look to when I achieve something, the one I search for in a crowd. The reason for my first smile.
You’re perfect to me.
When you feel like the weight of it all is heavy in your heart, please know I’ve never felt lighter. Can I lay here with you a little longer? I won’t always need you like this.
But I need you right now.
When you feel as if you have nothing left to give, when I see your hands outstretched at me, pleading. When we’re both crying. I wish I could talk, but I can’t. If I could I would tell you,
There’s a reason I chose you.
I can’t see past you right now mama, because you are my world. It will get bigger, soon enough.
But for now,
All I see is you.“
Xoxo
Oh my word this post is so sweet! You are an amazing mom and Kennedy is so, so lucky to have you and Chris as her parents!! Hoping more sleep is on the way soon too. 🙂 Happy 3 months of her!
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
I felt the same anxiety when my girls were babies. I’m a total type A and I wanted definitive answers to all the questions-exactly how high a temp is too high? Is the rash contagious? How much sleep does she need? I was telling my friend I needed actual answers and she asked if I had Baby 411. When I told her I hadn’t heard of it, she told me to hang up immediately and order it! So of course I did. If you don’t have this book- order it now! It’s SO helpful! Especially in the middle of the night when you’re bleary eyed and worried. It really helps with anxiety for new moms and was a TOTAL LIFESAVER!!
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-Clear-Answers-Advice/dp/1889392618/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?adgrpid=59813115561&dchild=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwyZmEBhCpARIsALIzmnJcQeOevO1UwTufwJQnT5NqHD7vvIHfmZ_ToPDAvBccaQ6np1h41wgaAs_wEALw_wcB&hvadid=410012256845&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9024142&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=12107233653593835879&hvtargid=kwd-301050634513&hydadcr=20687_11120694&keywords=baby+411&qid=1619495617&sr=8-3
From a mom of six, this is all so true Caitlyn and I love your honesty and vulnerability. It’s all a learning experience and I’d like to say as you have more it gets easier – but some of those adjustments and feelings are still the same! You just get used to feeling them (especially the sleep deprivation) and don’t doubt that it is normal – because it all is.
What a beautiful message- and a beautiful baby.
What a beautiful, heartfelt realization of motherhood! Even though it has been years since my daughters were babies, you never forget those moments and feelings that you described. All new mamma’s go through this the first time around. Please know your feelings are normal. It is all overwhelming and at the same time the most beautiful love you can ever know.
In a few more months, you will be through this first phase, and once your sleep schedule begins to resume, you will take it all in. You have such beautiful days and memories ahead. Keep hanging in there, and doing everything exactly the way you are. It is perfect at this moment in time.
Congratulations again on your beautiful baby girl!
Oh my goodness!!! This all brought back so many memories. I have 2 boys, 22 and 24, and I remember all these emotions. I know you have heard it a million times but all this goes by so very fast!!!! I feel like it was just yesterday that I felt these exact same emotions. Hang in there! I know you are exhausted so lean on others. Your body has been through so much so you are not only dealing with all the newness of motherhood and all that comes with it but also hormones and physical exhaustion. You give birth which is traumatic for your body and then have to hit the ground running with a newborn…it is SO HARD! Be kind to yourself and enjoy every moment! It does truly go by so very fast!!!
This is so sweet. Our daughters were born on the same day—January 16. However, my daughter was 10 weeks early. So I’ve been living vicariously thru your posts, since my preemie girl hasn’t quiet hit the same milestones yet. I love that you share you experiences with us. You’re doing great! Thanks for writing this.
Your post hit so close to home for me! We have a 4 week old and I can say I am feeling everything you are feeling. It is HARD! But so incredibly worth it. I love my sweet boy more than anything but there are days where I really struggle. Husband just went back to work and that transition has been very hard as well. Thank you so much for sharing!!
This post really resonates with me. I have a 2 year old and the new mommy transition was so hard for me as well. The sleep deprivation was real for months (she was a challenging baby who only liked to sleep being held) and I really struggled with anxiety over her health as well. Google is not your friend! I ended up needing some medication for just a few months, but fortunately it was short lived and I was able to manage without. Sleep deprivation and anxiety are definitely linked as well which makes it extra hard. It really does get better. I found myself wishing away the newborn phase as well so that it would feel easier. I just had my second baby 2.5 weeks ago and this experience has been much better, maybe because I’m more confident as a mom, or because this baby sleeps better! I don’t plan to have more children, so even on the hard days I’m trying to enjoy the little moments. Everything you are experiencing is completely normal and it’s so great you wrote about it. Women need to talk to each other about these things and normalize that motherhood is an amazing, but extremely challenging transition.
I completely understand the anxiety you struggle with. Nursing school and motherhood also “unlocked” extreme anxiety for me. Here are my biggest pieces of advice- supplement with good quality magnesium and b vitamins, and look into cognitive behavioral therapy tips. In a nut shell, I learned to stop the speeding train of anxiety before it even starts. Stop the negative scary thoughts right in the beginning, so that they don’t get out of hand. I literally tell myself “stop.” I didn’t go to therapy, I just looked into how to better control my thoughts. Additionally, avoid things that add to stressful state- overly caffeinated, watching the news or scary movies, reading a depressing article etc.. and try not to google about things that can go wrong. Look up an issue or call your ped and then move on. It’s so easy to spiral. Kennedy is drooling because she’s teething. End of story. She’s not sleeping well because it’s perfectly NORMAL for babies to awaken and nurse several times a night (RN, cosleeper, breastfeeding mom x3 here) and she’s approaching a sleep regression. It does get better, but not linearly. My biggest piece of advice, that I cannot stress enough, is prayer. Congratulations on all you’ve accomplished this far. Reach out to your audience, we’re all in this together.
I have also struggled with post partum anxiety, and being in a pandemic doesn’t help that at all. We struggled with sleep for a long time too. At first, I tried every class and every book and nothing seemed to work. One day we just decided to let go and go off of our baby’s sleep cues and that worked wonders. If there’s anything that has helped with any problem it’s when we let go and just let baby do what baby needs to do. Hope that helps and please know you’re not alone!
Thank you for being so open! I have a 9 month old daughter and I resonated with what you said so much. Some days are still hard but it does get easier. You’re doing amazing mama!
New mama here too. Actually our babies are born just 5 days apart. It’s very reassuring to know that other people are going through EXACTLY what you’re going through.
The change from not being a mom to being one is ridiculous difficult and I think will take many many months if not years to come to terms with. And that doesn’t mean you don’t love your child. You can love your child AND struggle with the changes they bring all at the same time.
I don’t know if this is your and your husbands style but with sleep what has really helped us is taking classes from takingcarababies. We see (thank God) more consistent nights and even days and that has helped my mental state tremendously. Lack of sleep is SO difficult.
Well, here’s to waiting for our babies to be more independent while also missing their little-ness.
Happy 3 months to you and Kenny! Thank you for this real post! After a night of my little waking every 2hours and a husband away for work and being a little under the weather myself, I am exhausted. But one thing always rings true…I love him more than anything and he won’t be this little forever so while the sleep guru’s may tell me to keep trying to put him in his crib to sleep for today we will soak up the snuggles in bed and I’ll remember the words you ended this post with.
The poem! 😭💙 First time mom of a 10 week old here, and it’s so nice to know I’m not alone with feeling the exact same way as you! The sleep deprivation is REAL. But like you, everyone tells me “it will get better”, so I’m clinging to that and trying to soak up and enjoy this season. Hoping you have lots of restful night ahead soon! Kennedy is so lucky to have you! 💗
I’m 6 weeks away from my due date with our first little baby girl! So nervous and excited for all the emotions we’re about to go through. Thank you for sharing!
Ok that poem is TOO MUCH and now I’m crying while holding my sleeping 11 week old. Thanks for your honesty – I completely relate.
That poem made my cry also. My son just turned 6 this week and I remember being in your shoes. It was so hard and I had post partum depression for over a year so it made it even worse. Each day seems to take a long time but I promise it will get better. You’re doing the best you can and that’s enough 😊
Thank you for this post. My daughter is less than a month younger than yours and I feel all this so sincerely. Nice to know your not alone❤️
Wow I am due anytime now and the post just tugged at my heart. I can feel the emotions and it is so beautifully put. Thank you for the honest post, it is really helpful as I am gearing towards motherhood myself. Kennedy is so adorable 🥰
Thank you for always being honest and vulnerable! My baby is 8 weeks and I can relate to all of this. Sometimes I think moms are afraid to admit they miss parts of pre-baby life or the relationship with your husband pre-baby. It is hard and it does change things. But all things change too and there is much positivity that can be found in the evolution of creating family too.
That poem is beautiful and it made me cry too!
Oh my gosh that poem has me in tears. I promise it will get better and you and your husband will come out of the stage stronger than ever. Congrats on 3 months!
So beautiful Caitlin, thank you for sharing. That poem has me sobbing holding my 8 week old right now.🤍
Crying so hard at that poem. Thank you for sharing. I feel the same way.
What a beautiful post! It’s so refreshing to see influencers open up about the realities of their life and knowing that not everything is picture perfect all the time. Postpartum anxiety is no joke!! Medication and therapy can be a huge help and they’re nothing to be ashamed of. You’re doing a great job mama!
Caitlin, what a beautiful post and poem! She is blessed to have you for her mama. I actually started crying when you shared hearing God speak to you in that way. I felt God speak to me most when I became a single mom, I couldn’t relate to my own mom in another way beyond regular motherhood. My mom sacrificed so much to raise me on her own, and then I had to do it for myself for a while (that’s a whole other story that you won’t have to worry about), but I say that because even though motherhood is busy, when we’re still with our babies, I definitely feel God’s presence no matter the specific circumstances.
I want to encourage you that you are a fantastic mom, and while my baby is now 7.5 I do remember how exhausting the newborn phase was. I once was so tired and even my leg fell asleep in bed, I heard her cry and got up for her and fell to the hardwood floor and injured myself on my sleep deprivation but am thankful I wasn’t carrying her. Please don’t be anxious, just remember God sees our situation and he has given you a perfectly healthy little girl. You will drive yourself crazy googling everything-speaking from experience. These are all natural parts of her development, unless it’s a rash or something that looks really abnormal, save yourself the scary webMD descriptions.
I will also tell you this phase won’t last forever. I guarantee at your next update if it’s 6 months, life will look/feel a lot different. You will be able to go out with girlfriends again, you will SLEEP again when she sleep trains, you will have dates with Chris and your alone time will feel special. That daddy-daughter time will be so sweet and when they go on dates and you get free time to yourself, all of it will feel good. I hear what you’re saying about the work aspect, I felt the same way. I actually took time off work for a bit and I’m glad I did, but then felt behind on work when returning, so we make the best decisions for us and our family and the hardest part is knowing we can’t be everywhere all the time, we have to make something new a priority. Your relationships will change, but your true friends won’t leave your side, they’ll draw near when you struggle and celebrate your wins (and Kennedy’s!) This is a long comment, but I wanted to encourage you that it really truly does get easier, better. Time passes quickly, enjoy all the little early stages. She will become independent and you’ll feel like she doesn’t need you at times (like I do), but it’s also proof you’ve equipped her for the world! I will also tell you this phase is so fun when they can understand jokes, tell them, excel in a sport or with their school work, etc. Every stage is so different, but they’re all wonderful, don’t be in a rush to get to the next one, it will come and go faster than you think. It feels like I just had my Lily yesterday, and she’ll turn 8 this year, she’s lost her front teeth, is already choosing her own outfits and causing me to pray more than I ever have in my life before every time she gets on the high bar at gymnastics. 😉 You’re doing amazing, thank you for sharing her and your life with us as always, and most importantly sharing the honest side that motherhood is not all roses and butterflies, it’s wonderful but HARD.
wow that poem – over here sobbing and I’m not even a mother! although it really does make me think of my mom and my love for her.
thank you for being so transparent! your honesty is something I very much admire! hoping to be a mother some day soon I appreciate your honesty so much!
xo Laura Leigh
https://louellareese.com
I absolutely love and appreciate your raw vulnerability about motherhood in this post. I’m sure you are so not alone in your feelings and your feelings are completely valid! Venturing into motherhood for the first time ever must be such a tough challenge, but you are strong! And these experiences will only make you even stronger! I bet you’re doing amazing and the best you can and that’s what matters!
Kennedy is such a doll and blessed to have you as a mom! Also, these pictures are absolutely beautiful! <3
xx
Key
https://storiesbysuddreth.com/
Omg that poem 😭😭😭
Needed this so much right now. Love the poem for this season of life.
Wow thank you so much for keeping it real…you just summed up parenthood to a T. It’s a mix of emotions and it’s totally normal to feel everything you wrote about. My son is almost 10 and I still feel these things although we’re both definitely sleeping more now! That really does get better:) I admire your honestly and how real you are…there are so many new moms that need to hear this and not feel alone. I also struggle with anxiety and it has come out stronger since being a mom…you just worry about them so much and don’t want anything bad to happen to them ever. I totally get it. You are doing an amazing job and thank you for sharing your life and family and for being real with your followers. You’re an inspiration and a great mom!! ❤️
Also that poem brought me to tears! Goodness!
Such a sweet post! I’m not a mama, but I can’t even imagine the love you have for your daughter. My love for my nieces and nephews is indescribable! Looking forward to having that with my own children 🙂
Enjoy this stage as much as you can. It will get better but also worse.
You have made a lifetime commitment, try to roll with the punches, asa Gramma I have seen it all and still am surprised by new family experiences daily.
Just enjoy your beautiful daughter, you are young sleep can come later.
So raw and beautifully written . We are mommas ! Strong when we are weak because of our Heavenly Father strengthens us.
Love this – thank you for sharing it and for opening up both with the good and the hard! I have a 2 yr old and a 3 month old and I relate to this so much … I will say after a certain time The sleep deprivation kind of just becomes part of your life in the sense that you start to learn how to function on less sleep. I’ll even say having my second I am literally not sleeping and yet still find myself at the park going to town on the swings in the slides with my toddler. I have no idea where the energy comes from but somehow you just make it happen ha ha! And every time I talk to my mom or my mother-in-law they always remind me how fast it goes and how much you miss it but of course that doesn’t help when you really just Want a nap LOL
My new favorite quote : I’ve learned how much I can love …. and how little I can sleep” haha sending so much love your way xoxoxo
My baby was born two weeks after yours and when you posted that poem (or maybe it was a story) I saved it. I NEEDED to read that, and still read it from time to time to remind me. Motherhood is hard and I agree 100% about the many conflicting emotions all at once!
Thank you for your honesty! I felt like I was reading my own thoughts and feelings on the page! The poem was beautiful also! I needed this today. Thank you <3
Oh my! That poem! My heartstrings! As a mama of a 21 & 18 year old, I still feel all of this. The worry never 100% goes away but it gets better. There are bad days but the good outshine the not so good.
Beautiful, my baby is 4 months old , thanks for the poem and I feel god too thanks
I struggled with anxiety before I had my kids but I really was blown away my my postpartum anxiety. I couldn’t sleep out of arms reach of my first son so I could always make sure he was breathing. The sleeping thing literally is torture. What helped was my husband and I would alternate nights we’d get up with the baby so the other one could get a full nights rest. My doctor told me you need at least 6 consecutive hours a night to survive a newborn. That’s been my go-to. It definitely doesn’t feel like this stage will ever end, but I promise you little by little it gets way easier and SO MUCH FUN. You got this mama, we all have your back! 💕
Thank you so much for your honesty. I am in a similar time with my second baby and it is just nice to hear you’re not alone. Hang in there mama you are doing great!!
That poem got me 😭
Raising 5 kids is the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I vividly remember holding my first baby girl thinking and feeling all the same things you are. 1 was hard. Life changing. I remember asking the Lord, “how am I going to be enough for her?”
This post was a great reminder to me & to all Moms that we weren’t called to “be enough”. We were called to be dependent on the one who is enough for all our needs and our children’s needs!
🤍 I love your heart Caitlin — keep being vulnerable. Your honesty allows so many other women to see they are not alone on this wild ride called Motherhood.
I’m a new, first time mom too, and I’ve never felt so “seen”. I say that knowing that my tribe has told me all of this, but it’s so refreshing to have a similar testimony to motherhood from someone on social media that speaks truth with grace.
Keep at it Mama, and I’ll try too. Joshua 1:9.
I read this post with great emotion. I am currently waiting to give birth to our first daughter so all these emotions and experiences are in front of me.
Thank you for being so honest and accurately depicting how hard and beautiful motherhood is.
I believe that with time everything will become easier:)
All the best!
Currently nursing my 9.5 week old and crying over this beautiful poem. This is my second baby and completely different than my “easy” first. Even knowing the long nights are temporary, it is still hard. Thank you for being so vulnerable.
Caitlin, thank you for writing this post and being so vulnerable! I have 2 boys (3 and 5) and I felt this exact way too (sometimes still do haha)! I recently read this poem about how when you meet your baby for the first time, you’re also meeting a different version of yourself. That tension you mentioned of feeling like yourself sometimes but then struggling to recognize yourself at other times are the exact feelings I felt too. You’re doing a great job! Continue to be kind to yourself and have patience with the process. You’re such a good mama!
Yes to the God wink!!! I once heard a pastor speak about God as a mother instead of a father and now that I am a mother it blows my mind that God loves me even more deeply. Chilling!
Beautifully written Caitlin! I love watching you with Kennedy – I have your insta post notifications on and get so excited every time I get a notification that you’ve posted! I am a full time nanny and have been throughout the covid pandemic for 2 beautiful little girls. Some days get so hard but the thing about being a nanny is once I leave I can relax for myself and I don’t have the kids around me anymore – although some days I wish I could take them home with me. I keep reminding myself when I am tired and I get home and I get to lay down and relax that when I am a mother I wont be able to do that! I pray to God my boyfriend and I have as beautiful as a family as yours. I know the days will be long but I loved reading this and I can’t wait for God to bless us with a child like He as for you and Chris!
God Bless
Oh my goodness, that poem the end had be blubbering big ol’ tears!! Our baby boy is turning 1 on May 17th and I very much remember the early months of intense sleep deprivation (I swear, we were both literally hallucinating baby was in bed and wrapped up, trapped in the blankets when he was safely asleep in his bassinet! It was horrible!), overwhelming emotions that sneak up out of nowhere, anxiety that I’d never felt so hard suddenly wash over me what felt like all. the. time. (and I’m normally a super chill, hard to rattle therapist lol), constantly questioning/doubting my decisions, feeling like I wasn’t in my own body at times because it didn’t feel like mine, etc. It really does get better and at the same time, the “hard stuff” just evolves. In hindsight, I wish I could’ve seen through my own frustrations and tears to positively take in those newborn days, but it’s SO hard when you’re in the thick of it! No matter what’s going on, please know that you’re doing great, Caitlin! Us mamas get it and I personally appreciate your honesty in this post (I’m sure there’s TONS left unsaid, but one can feel vulnerable making statements about motherhood being anything but rainbows and butterflies…). I appreciate you showing up, in both your highs and lows, your beautifully curated content, and real-life candids.
Hugs mama, you are not alone. It took me a long time to feel like myself again after my first, I felt most of the things you describe. Just know it DOES get better. I have three kids now (which has its own unique challenges) and my youngest is 2. It is crazy, busy, amazing, and at times maddening but the best journey ever. Give it another few months and you will find your (different than pre baby) groove. You’ve got this!
Oh, Caitlin, everything you wrote here is so honest and so beautiful. What you’re walking through is so normal – every first-time parent I’ve ever cared for (and many experienced ones, as well!) shared so many of your same concerns. Someone once said having children is like having your heart walk around outside your body and honestly, it’s spot on. The sleep deprivation is so awful. This time, later in memory, may even blur a little. It’s like the hormones that help new parents’ brains transition to parenthood also set aside pre-baby life in ways that are unique to each person. It’s okay if you feel like you’re losing your mind, that your memory isn’t what it was, your sense of time is a little off, if you blink and things have shifted again. New parenthood is so, so vulnerable and precious and beautiful and so very hard. You’re not alone and you’re both so much better at this than maybe you think sometimes (doubts are SO normal)! And I love that you offer encouragement to your readers through this crazy time that this IS how God sees us! He’s crazy about us. He will do anything to bring us closer to Him. Prayers for you and Chris as you learn and grow and change. And your baby is so cute and so chunky!!!
I know exactly what you’re talking about. I was so unprepared for exactly how fiercely, devastatingly difficult that entrance into motherhood was. Joy and love like you’ve never imagined, and by far the hardest thing I had ever gone through at the same time.
I’m five years into this, now expecting my third, and I am so happy as a mom now. It took time, but I finished grieving what I had left behind and grew into my new identity. And I promise, this is the hardest part! My 5-year-old is the most delightful person to be around, best friends with his little brother, and, of course, I wouldn’t want any other life than raising them.
If I could share the very most important things that have helped us, get ready because they’re not trendy, but ~ gentle sleep training, and in the toddler years, consistent and loving discipline. I was SO against any kind of cry it out until about month 7, when we were both barely sleeping at all, and I finally realized he was as miserable as I was. I have now experienced first hand how helping them learn to enjoy sleeping in their own bed all night, and helping them learn to obey — and showering them with all the cuddles, time and attention I possibly can!! – – have allowed them to be happy, secure and thriving, and me to be as well.
Anyway, you are going to make it, and you are doing a wonderful job. We can all tell from here! Don’t be afraid to ask for whatever help you need – you don’t have to feel like you’re completely okay yet just because it’s been a few months.
And I just want to say, if anyone of these sweet mamas reading this who is struggling needs someone to talk to, let’s get in touch. ❤️